Imperfection
by allsmilz
Summary: Bella see's no good in herself. She thinks she is imperfect all over, inside and out. She see's herself as fat and ugly and nothing else. She's alone in the world until she starts high school were she meets Edward, could he change everything? READ PLZ! :
1. Chapter 1

Hello(: This is my third fanfic, so please review and let me know what you think(:

CHAPTER 1

I slammed the door to my room and let the tears fall down my cheeks. They just wouldn't stop. I looked up and realized i was standing in front of my mirror. What stared back at me made the tears come harder.

I saw a girl. She had long brown curly hair over a round face with chubby cheeks. She had small brown eyes and a slight double chin. But the most noticeable part of the girl in the mirror was her weight. She was fat.

That girl in the mirror was Bella Swan, that girl in the mirror, was me.

Thats all i saw when i looked at myself. And you know what? I didn't just see fat. I saw imperfection all over me. I could name every imperfection i had on my body, it was an endless list.

I was ugly and fat and i hated myself so how could i expect others to think any different of me?

Today had been my 1st day of high school. I had a few friends, but no best friends. I hated myself, and constantly pointed out my imperfections even though others told me i was fine just the way i was, but i knew that was a lie. Thats why i never had boy friends, thats why boys never asked me out or smiled at me as i passed them in the halls, because i wasn't good enough for them.

I heard a light knock on my door. "Bella, are you alright?" I heard my mom ask softly.

I quickly wiped my eyes and fanned my face a few times. "Yes." I replied.

"Do you want to come out and talk about your 1st day at school?"

That was the last thing i wanted to do. But i knew it broke my mothers heart when i denied her so i straightened myself up and opened my door, plastering the best smile i could on my face. "Sure."

I sat and made up a story about a wonderful 1st day of high school to tell my mom as she scurried around the kitchen making dinner. She smiled and nodded as i fed her all these lies and when i was done she seemed so happy that it tore my apart that she didn't know the truth.

But she couldn't understand the truth. My mother had always been beautiful, still, being almost 40, she received constant compliments about her appearance.

I weighed about 190 pounds, even though i looked about 165/170. I wasn't morbidly obese i would admit that, but i was larger then i felt i should be, and i felt so ugly and terrible compared to every other girl in school.

I walked up stairs after dinner and let the tears id been holding back fall freely, causing me to shake violently. I curled into a ball in my bed and cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with achy muscles and swollen eyes. I rolled myself out of bed and quickly got ready for another dreadful day at school, trying to hide as much evidence of my night full of misery as possible.

When i got to Forks High School i tried to to get from the entrance to my locker, to home room, without being noticed. Unfortanatly, a few people waved at me in the hall and well, i couldn't ignore them.

Most of the day went by in a blur, i didn't say much, just when from class to class and occasionally answered a few questions. I had left right before lunch yesterday, to miserable to carry on, so today i would be going into my 5th and 6th period for the 1st time.

I was starving by lunch but was to embarrassed to eat, there were just so many people in the small lunchroom that i couldn't stand someone laughing at me stuffing my face.

I already knew what room to go to for my 5th period, biology, so i walked up stairs to room 223 and went straight to the teacher at the front of the room. The man noticed me right away and looked me up and down.

"Were you here yesterday?" He asked unsure.

"Um no i has to leave school early." I mumbled quietly.

He nodded and gave me a friendly smile, handing me a syllabus and directed me to the only available seat in the room.

It was a 2 person lab table with one available seat. I could only see the back of the other person sitting there but i could tell it was a boy. Great.

I walked over and quietly sat down, pretending to shuffle through my things to avoid any akward silences. The boy must have heard me because he turned and looked at me curiously as if he accepted me to say something. I couldn't hey my own curiosity and peeked sideways at the boy through the curtain of my hair.

What i saw amazed me. He was absolutely beautiful. He had a head full of tousled brown hair and piercing green eyes that i could get lost in. His face had a taught bone structure making him look like a greek god and you could see his muscled pulsing through his grey t shirt.

My breath caught and he noticed my staring. I snapped around in my seat and felt the coloring flowing to my cheeks. I felt like he was looking at me and thinking ew.

"Hello." A velvety voice said.

I felt my heart skip at the melodic voice and i turned slowly in his direction, not meeting his eyes. "Hello." I said quietly.

"I'm Edward, Edward Cullen." He said politely.

Why was he being so nice?

"Bella Swan."

He smiled. Oh it was beautiful. "Nice to meet you, Bella."

I was luckily saved from making an idiot of myself and continue the conversation when Mr. Varner started his lesson.

I stayed on the edge of my seat out of self consciousness of being by such a angel.

When the bell rang i couldn't get out of the room quick enough. I stood up and, being the klutz i was, slid onto the floor, straight on my butt, my books and papers going everywhere.

I wanted to cry out of embarrassment when i heard the laughter around the room. I stayed on the floor until everyone left, to upset to do anything else. When i thought it was clear i stretched my hand out to pick up my books and i was shaking violently. I started crying out loud since Mr. Varner had shut the door on his way out.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and snapped around.

Edward Cullen stared back at me.

"Bella.." He said.

This must be a joke. Someone so beautiful and perfect couldn't be this nice to me.

I searched his eyes for any sign of humor but all i saw was emeralds full of sympathy.

I swallow hard and wiped my eyes, embarrassed once again, and turned around silently and started to pick up my things.

He grabbed my hand and it startled me by the way his touch made me feel. "Stop. Let me."

I was to stunned to do anything but obey. So i just watched as he picked up my things and stacked them in a neat pile. Then, he stood up and extended his and out to me, i took it and his hand in mine gave me a weird feeling inside.

He walked me to the door, letting go of my hand, and handing me my books.

I took them and we stood there unsure what to do next. "Thank you." I said quietly.

He smiled. "My pleasure, Bella, don't let them get to you." He said and gave me one more crooked smile and walked out the door.

I watched him go, yearning for him to come back.

Its a start, loll. Btw, Bella isn't intended to be REALLY big, just bigger then most girls but not like obese. Anyways, please review and let me know what you think!(: Should i continue? does it suck? Ill stop writing if u all think i suck! lol Please review!!(:

*~PaIgE~*


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

My emotions were completely cut in half as i walked up to school the next morning. The first half was secretly hoping that Edward would beaus nice and as friendly as he had been the day before. The second half was telling the first half that it could hope all it wanted, because no one like Edward would ever pay much attention to someone like me. He probably just felt sorry for me.

Everything went on as normal that day, i quietly got through the noisy halls and kept to myself during classes. At lunch i, once again, left my food untouched out of embarrassment and when i received concerned looks from the people around me, i simply said i wasn't feeling well.

By the time i got to 5th block my stomach was churning with nervousness. I was slightly relieved when i saw that i had beat Edward to class. I quickly went to my seat and pulled out "Wuthering heights", skimming through the pages absentmindedly. When i heard the chair move beside me i froze.

"Hello Bella." I heard him say. The way he said my name sent cold chills up my spine.

"Hey Ed- Edward." I choked out. Oh how dorky was that?

We didn't say anything else the rest of the class. I was conscious about everything i did. I hardly breathed afraid that my gut would look bigger then it already was, i tried to ignore my allergies and silence the growl of my stomach.

I was slightly relieved when the bell rang. I pretended to gather up my things as Edward silently left the room. I breathed out a sigh of relief when i saw him leave. Yes, he was defiantly just being friendly.

I knew i would see him again. Gym was my last and least favorite, class of the day. And just my luck, Edward was in there too. I quickly and awkwardly, changed into my gym sweats and t shirt, noticing how baggy it made me look. When i left the girls locker room i bumped into Mike Newton.

He looked up and smiled. "Hey Bella!"

Mike and i had known each other since elementary school. He had always been pretty nice to me.

I smiled tightly. "Hey."

Luckily i didn't have to say much more because the squeal of the gym whistle signaled us to get in position in front of the volleyball net.

I usually managed to keep away from the ball but when a ball past right by me i felt embarrassed. Jessica Stanley glared at me.

"I'm sorry it went right by me…" I stammered.

"Yeah well you could have ran for it." She scoffed, sauntering to the other side of the net were the boys team, including Edward, was standing.

"She could use some running!" She whispered loudly to the boys.

Everyone laughed and i felt hot tears begin to fill my eyes. I looked over at Edward who was staring at me with an odd expression. I saw another boy nudge him and whisper, "Isn't that funny?" Edward looked down and started to laugh. just like everyone else.

I bit my lip to try and keep from crying, i knew i couldn't run out. The school would call my mom and then she would KNOW something was wrong. So i just stood there and took it. I felt my body shaking violently. I watched as everyone looked at me every time i had to run for a ball, which i usually missed.

When the bell rang i all but ran to the locker room and grabbed my clothed and books, not even bothering to change, i stormed out of there, heading toward the exit door. I pushed it open with all my strength and started to walk home, letting the tears fall freely, when i felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I jumped and i felt nothing but pure hatred when i found myself staring into a pair of emerald green eyes.

Edward acted like he expected me to say something, when i didn't. he pursed his lips, he looked sad.

"Bella…i- i'm so sorry…"

I bit my lip to keep from crying even more, i couldn't say anything.

"Bella i didn't ever intend to hurt you..i.." He broke off and looked me in the eye and his expression changed a little. "Oh Bella, please don't…"

I had no clue what he was talking about until i realized that there were hot tears falling down my face. It had started to rain, hard, and we were both getting soaked. I angrily wiped my face. "I have to go." I croaked, turning away. But he lightly grabbed my wrist and turned me back to face him. I felt a little spark go through me by his touch.

He still looked sad. "Let me take you home."

Edward was a year older then me, of course he was driving.

"I'm fine."

He didn't look convinced. "Bella i may be a jerk but im not letting you walk home in this." He said, gesturing up to the dark sky above.

I looked around for a few minutes, unsure of what to do, i heard my phone chirp and i quickly dug it out of my bag, reading the screen. Mom.

I flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Bella! Do i need to come get you? I know this weather is terrible!" She sounded worried.

I looked back and forth from Edward to the phone. After a moment of silence i sighed.

"No, is alright, i have a ride." I said.

Edward gave me a small smile and reached for his keys.

Tell me what you think! :D R&R pleaseee(:


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

I followed Edward to his shiny volvo. Everyone else was already gone. He opened the door for me, smiling a little.

I glared at him. "Would you still drive me home if someone was watching?" I spat. His smile quickly faded.

"Of course i would." He said sternly.

I rolled my eyes and got in.

We were silent most of the ride home when he pulled into my driveway i wasted no time grabbing the door handle to get out, but he stopped me.

"Bella, im a jerk."

"Yeah, so i noticed."

He sighed and ran his hand through his copper locks. "Bella, i never wanted to hurt you. I cant believe i even did that. Its just i was just…" He trailed off, slamming his head against the seat.

After a moment of silence i finally sighed. "Its okay..I mean, i get it. Sometimes you have to do things against your will to blend in. I get it. Its not like i blame you.. she was right. It wouldn't hurt me to run a little.."

He snapped up, looking me dead in the eye. "Don't be ridiculous Bella!"

i looked down at my puffy stomach. "Im not, i'm not, i'm only being honest."

He shook his head. "Your impossible." I just shrugged.

"Well i guess ill go. Ill see you tomorrow.." I started to go but he, once again, stopped me.

I turned to look at him, he had a small smile on his face. "Let me make it up to you."

I was getting lost in his green eyes. "Um no you don't have to do that."

His smiled brightened. "I know, I WANT to. Theres a party tomorrow night. Let me take you. Your a freshmen, it'll be good for you to meet some upper clansmen." He winked.

I blushed a little, i couldn't help but to crack a small smile. "Sure." I said, even though i didn't want to, i simply couldn't resist him.

"Great. Ill pick you up around eight?"

"Okay." I said, turning to get out, before i shut the door, i heard him say, "Oh! And Bella?"

"Yes?"

"I think your perfect just the way you are." He said, giving me a crooked smile.

I felt my mouth drop open slightly.

I stood in the rain, my heart beating out of my chest as he drove away.

I know it was a short chapter but im planning on updating again tonight(; Thoughts? R&R! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the hold up, heres the next chapter! :D

CHAPTER 4

"I really wish you would stop looking at me like that."

My mom had been staring at me with hungry eyes since i'd gotten home. Apparently, she had seen Edward drop me off and was dyeing for details. I had told her repeatedly that he was just a friend. She wasn't buying it.

"Oh Bella but he's so CUTE!" she squealed.

I swear my mom acted more like a teenager then myself when it came to gossip and boys.

I sighed. "I'm going to do homework."

Moms face quickly turned to a child who had just got there candy stolen. "Oh Bella! Please talk to me!"

I stopped short. "Mom, i promise you. Theres nothing to tell."

I hated to disappoint her, but her daughter was a pathetic loser.

All night all i could think about was Edward. It was wrong. It was so wrong. Why would someone like Edward ever like someone like me? I mean, he was just so…perfect! And me…i was just so…not.

I didn't know what else to do. So i forced myself into unconsciousness.

Friday was here way before i was ready. I had thought it was a good thing, the party, until it got closer and closer.

When i was waiting for Edward i found myself in a cold sweat. Practiclly hyperventilating.

My mom noticed my tension. "Bella, are you okay?"

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. "Yeah, of course."

I thought about calling Edward, saying i was to sick to go. But my moms reaction had stopped me. She was so happy…so excited to see me getting out there. She had even brought me home a new outfit. Shoes, jewelry and all.

"BELLA!" My mom screeched, shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I said, blinking.

"Edwards downstairs!" She squeeled.

Oh great.

I took a deep breath, smoothing out my clothes and hair one last time before walking down the stairs. There, stood a perfect angel to good to be true. Edward wore a pair of simple jeans with a light blue button up shirt.

He smiled softly when he saw me.

"Bella." He nodded. Oh how i loved hearing him say my name.

"Hi." I managed to choke out. Oh what a loser Bella.

"You ready to go?" He asked, jingling his keys.

I nodded, turning to my mom, quickly telling her bye before following Edward out the door.

As last time, he opened my door for me. But this time, instead of a sarcastic remark, i quietly said thank you.

The 1st 10 minutes of the ride were tense and akward. I could feel the tension in the air. I could feel my hands start to clam up.

Finally, i found the courage to speak. "So, where is this party?"

"Port Angelas. Everyones supposed to be there, and there will be plenty of liquor so i hear." He winked.

i giggled nervously. I had never had a sip of alcohol in my life.

We pulled up to a small house filled with people, inside and out. When i stepped out of the car, the smell of smoke and liquor filled my nostrils. I stifled a gag. What had i gotten myself into?

As Edward led me inside, my breathing picked up when i saw all of the people around us. People i tried to avoid.

I couldn't make out what room we were in due to people blocking any view of anything, but i noticed a table set in the middle of what looked to be a kitchen. It was filled with plastic cups. Edward picked one up, examined it, shrugged, then took a long chug, wincing a little.

"Want one?" He asked, gesturing toward the table.

I hesitated. I was old fashioned, "just say no" and all that. But what would Edward think of me? A dorky little freshman, to afraid to live a little?

"Sure." I grabbed a cup of the table, taking a small sip. Ugh.

"EDDIE!" Oh no.

Sure enough, Jessica Stanley walked up to Edward, highly intoxicated. "Weeerrrrrrreeeee hhhhaaavvveee ewwww baannnn!" She whined, slurring her words.

Edward grimaced, clearly trying not enjoying her company. "Um, excuse us Jessica."

He grabbed my arm and led us to the least crowded room near the back of the house. When we walked in i noticed about 10 people gathered in a circle with liquor spread out everywhere.

Edward clearly knew one of the guys and asked to join in. I was a little lost. Edward turned to me with a sly grin on his face. "Ever played the alphabet game?"

I knew enough about it to know it was trouble, but the words "Dorky little freshman" appeared in my head again and i agreed to play.

Edwards friend started. "Apple!"

"Bar!"

"Cat!"

"Dark!"

"Elephant!"

"Frog!"

Edwards turn. "Google!"

I was next. All eyes turned to me, and i froze.

"Ahhh!" Everyone shouted. I knew what came next. Edwards friend handed me shot. "Chug a lug." He slurred.

Little did i know, that would be my first shot, of many.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D Btw, i hope to update soon(:


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the wait :/... I had highschool volleyball tryouts this week and i have been so busy! (I made the team btw:) ANYWAYS! I would like to give a shout out to "YankeeDiva" She has read my story and reviewed every chapter so far(: Thank you so much! You have no idea how much the feedback means to me! Keep it up!(:

CHAPTER 5

Blur. Everything was a blur. I couldn't stand, couldn't sit, i had no idea were i was, who i was with, or how i had gotten there. The only thing i could remotely focus on was the shots being pushed in front of me. I repeadtly heard people cheering me on as i took shot after shot. We had eventually stopped playing the game and started to just drink for the heck of it.

"CHUG CHUG CHUGG!" I heard the a misfit of laughter, and i couldn't help but to obey. The rush i got inside me when everyone was cheering me on like this was unexplainable. I loved it. Everything seemed great, until i finally set down…

My stomach took a sudden lurch and out of instinct, i ran. I remembered passing a bathroom when i came down the hall. My eyes were franticlly darting back and forth, making it harder to keep the vile down. It seemed like a miracle when i finally saw the white porcelain i was looking for. I ran for it, and thank god the lid was already up.

I lost track of time as i dived for the toilet time after time. When it seemed to finally be over, i slumped onto the floor, trying my best to ignore my throbbing head.

"Bella..?"

Funny, i hadn't heard anyone come in.

I felt a cool, long hand press against my clammy face. "Bella? Are you alright? Are you ready to go home?"

Home? No! I couldn't go home! My mom, i couldn't let her see me like this!

I opened my mouth to say something, but it made me become more dizzy. I did, however, manage to cat a glimpse of the person tending to me. Edward.

He noticed i was trying to say something. It was like he had read my mind.

He gave me a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry, ill give you some water and drive slow."

I knew he was trying to help, but i couldn't imagine anything going into my stomach right now.

He caught me off guard when i noticed i was airborne, Edward had lifted me up in his arms and was now quietly taking us to the back door. The gust of cool night air against me was the best thing id felt all night.

He gently laid me in the passenger seat, buckling my seat belt, and handed me a bottle of water. "Drink this slowly. I know you don't want to, but it will make you feel better, trust me." He winked.

I may have been a little out of it, but i still felt my heart beat heavily in my chest when he winked with his crooked smile.

I could tell Edward was driving slow. He had put on a soothing melody on the stereo. It sounded familiar….

"Claire de lune…" I mumbled softly. It sounded more like "Lair a use" But apparently Edward got the point.

He looked over at me, eyes slightly widened. "You know debussy?"

"mhmm." I sighed dreamily. The music was bringing me down, and Edward was right, the water had helped. I felt like i was going into a coma.

He took off his pea coat, draping it around my shoulders. I felt like i could stay in that moment forever. I mumbled something incoherent, meaning to thank him. He just smiled and slowly swiped my hair out of my face, his long fingers leaving a trail of electricity across my cheek.

I awoke to someones voice. A male? Yes. It was loud…so loud. It made my head ache. I tried to force open my heavy lids. I saw myself Pass tree's and grass and a soft, pale neck, in which my face was nuzzled into. It was dark out, i finally recognized the frantic voice, my father.

I was to focused on the pain in my head to get the whole conversation but i managed to cat a few things.

"…..My baby….You better….Give her hear!" Dad.

"Charlie!…..Edward please…. Oh you stop that now!" and a light smacking sound. Mom.

"Im sorry….Fine….asleep in the car…." Edward.

"Dad…I'm fine…" I managed to whisper. I noticed how hoarse my voice sounded. And i almost gagged from the taste in my mouth.

The talking finally faded and was replaced by quiet thumps. Footsteps. I assumed it was Edward taking me up to my room.

I felt myself descend onto my soft bedding. I didn't notice that i had a good grip on his shirt until i gently felt him prying my fingers away. I couldn't fight, but i didn't want to let go. When we were finally out of contact i felt hot tears fall down my cheeks and a small whimper escape my lips. I didn't want him to leave.

I saw him whirl around at the sound of my cry. He gave me a painful gaze. "Bella?" he said, slowly walking towards me.

I was still crying, i wanted him. I wanted him to hold me forever, he couldn't leave.

"Shh, shh." He whispered. "Whats wrong?"

When i couldn't answer. He slowly ran his soft hand along my cheek. I caught it, grasping it firmly in my hand, and the tears stopped.

I snuggled up to his hand, finally feeling at peace and ready to sleep. "Edward…" i whispered, closing my eyes.

I saw his eyes watching me. Then, without letting go of my hand, he reached for the small chair against the wall, taking a seat by my bed, watching me drift to sleep. Never letting go…

So! Did you love it? Hate it? Did it suck? Was it amazing? Review and let me know,! :D Please and thank you!(:

-Paige(:


	6. Chapter 6

I know. I'm horrible for not updating for so long :/ i've had a busy…."months"(: BUT, i'm hoping to fix that(: SO, if your not to fed up with me and haven't lost interest, here's chapter 6(:

CHAPTER 6

Normally, i would have put my thoughts of waking up beside Edward on here. But, to be honest, words cannot explain the horror, joy, flutters, and nerves that i felt when i woke up next to that beautiful face. I didn't remember much of last night, but lets just say, i remembered enough.

My whole body was aching. I didn't want to move. I was drenched in sweat, my eyes felt like bricks, and i felt like somebody had hit me over the head with a hammer. I didn't even want to know what my parents were planning on doing to me.

"Bellaaa?" A sweet voice mumbled.

I turned to see Edward, one emerald eye open peeking up at me. Ugh.

"Hey.." I croaked nervously. Note to self, brush teeth. Asap...

"How are you feeling?"

I thought for a moment. "About as bad as i look."

He cracked a crooked smile. "Well most people don't feel beautiful after drinking vodka all night."

My heart stuttered and i felt my cheeks flush.

He chuckled and stood up, stretching his long, muscular body. I felt my face heat up again.

He ruffled his hair. "I guess i should be going…" He said, starting towards the door.

"Edward wait!"

He turned. I hadn't expected that to come out of my mouth, so i didn't know what to say.

"Thank you…" I whispered.

He didn't say anything, all i got was a small nod and a heartbreaking smile.

After Edward shut my door i listened to each step he took from my door, to the steps, down the steps, and finally out the door.

I'm not sure how long i sat there after that. All i really wanted was a shower, my tooth brush, and an advil. Unfortunately, all of those things required me to leave my room, and the last thing i wanted to do was confront my parents. But i suppose i'd have to go eventually, might as well get it over with.

I tip toed to the door, cracking it slightly,i peeked downstairs to see mom doing dishes and dad on the couch, he looked deep in thought. That couldn't be good.

I took a deep breath and stepped out the door, going down the stairs. Both there attention immediately snapped to me. Dad looked angry, mom, sympathetic.

Right as mom opened her mouth, i heard "Isabella, sit.", in a voice i didn't hear very often.

I sat down, never taking my eyes off the floor. I just listened.

"Isabella, i first want to say i am very disappointed in you. You are better then this. However, i am being lenient, this is your 1st and only warning. If i ever catch you drinking again, you will be grounded until your thirty." he said sternly.

I nodded, a little taken back.

"And as for the boy, well, i'm not very happy about him right now but i suppose i can give him credit for being a gentlemen and bringing you home. But i can tell you this, you will never have a boy in your room again, understood?"

I felt my face go red, but i nodded, once again.

"Good." He said, plopping down and going back into sports mode.

I stood up slowly and walked back up the stairs, heading straight to the shower. I turned the water on high and stripped absentmindedly.

As the hot water stung yet relieved my body, i couldn't stop thinking about how Edwards touch did the same thing.

Hoped you liked it(: Review please?(: 3

-Paige(:

P.S.- I'm sorry for it being so short :/ i haven't written in a while and i'm trying to get back in the feel of things. Hoping to update soon(:


End file.
